What is the Point, Really???

Do you ever ask yourself what the point of this whole blogging things is? I mean, there are probably as many motivating factors for blogging as there are bloggers, but every once in a while I ask myself why am I doing this? What exactly is it that I get out of blogging that keeps me coming back for more?

When I started last January (a different blog that’s gone now) I don’t think I ever envisioned it as a social thing. I know that blogging is in essence a social activity but I’m a little dense sometimes and that really wasn’t even on my radar at the time. I think it started more as a challenge to myself........an exercise to commit to words at least one short paragraph a day focusing on the view from here, nothing significant, nothing out of the ordinary, just life.....an experiment to pass some time during a particularly hard winter. But when I ask myself why I continue, the answers become more complicated.

In reality I’m not a very social person. That being said, I’ve really come to enjoy peeking in on each of you and seeing what you’re doing and what you have to say. And, after 20 years of marriage, and 12 years of parenting, it becomes very easy to define yourself solely within the confines of the roles of spouse and mother. So in a sense it’s an exercise in reclaiming (in some minor way) autonomy, a sense of self. Beyond that it’s about writing. I’m not a very articulate person, not for a lack of intellect (I don’t think) it’s more a disconnect I have of turning thought into speech. I like to blame that on my Dad as he too is a person of few words. (Maybe we’ve got some weird idiot gene that kicks in the minute our brains say “speak”). Finally, it gives me an excuse to play with our camera which is nothing more than a lot of fun.

That’s about as honest as I can be. I blog for connection, self affirmation, and entertainment. What about you, why do you do it?

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.......

As you probably know we have pigeons. We have a lot of pigeons.

There is no making any sense of it, it just is......
or rather they just are.

Zoe has named these two Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum which seems to fit them perfectly. Their father (who she's named House) can't fly. He's one of the reasons we have pigeons.
In fact, despite his limitations he seems to be responsible for
quite a few of our pigeons.........he's very busy.

`Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, `if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.'

~ from Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll

Christmas in July

Every since Goth was a baby my sister has seen to it that she has been well dressed. In fact if it wasn’t for Sandie she’d probably be running around here in nothing but a loincloth and slippers (just kidding). Our older sister’s daughter, Leanne, is almost 16. She gives her hand-me-downs to Sandie who’s 14 year old takes what she likes before shipping them to us. Goth and her friend divvy up the rest and anything that survives the trials of life with Zoe gets sent back to Michigan for Sandie’s youngest who’s 10. Today’s box was jam packed with clothing, including a cashmere sweater, (why didn’t Marcee want that, Sandie???) and art supplies!

Sandie owns a custom drapery workroom so she sent me a bunch of cool beaded fringe remnants and other trinkets to collage with.

I’ve been really low on supplies so I can’t wait to dig in and get working.

It was almost noon when I opened the box and found that several of the shirts actually fit me. My wardrobe being what it is, coupled with my disdain for shopping, made me ready to call dibs on some of those tops. But since they were sent for Zoe I figured I’d better give her first pick. When I carried them into her room and asked her if she would mind if I laid claim to them, she informed me that I have terrible taste. How cool is that?!
Thank you Sandie!
(and thank Marcia too for all of the great old jewelry!)

Parenting Tips

I have an old set of books from 1917 called Practical Child Training that I like to make art with. I got them out the other day to work on a sketch and as I was scanning the pages for collage materials I decided it might be fun to post some excerpts here. I’m particularly amused by the Morality volumes which contain one of my favorite pieces of sage advice: to prevent self gratification in boys you should get them interested in raising chickens, or other activities of a wholesome nature. I was seriously thinking about getting some chickens, but now I’m a little worried what the neighbors might think. Any ways, if you’re nostalgic for a little old fashioned family dysfunction you’ve come to the right place. Here’s to turning out a few “whole-souled”, well groomed, moral, and productive members of society:

If we are to have a fine, intellectual, whole-souled type of woman in the future we must eliminate pettiness. It holds back women’s social and economic status more than any inability to vote. (pg. 1211)

One of the most difficult faculties to develop in a girl is the quality of concentration. (pg. 1177)

....strong measures should be taken to develop a manly courage. (pg. 782)

Unless you discourage the habit of boasting, a child may become a nuisance. (pg. 803)

To tell a child that there is a Santa Claus that comes down the chimney is wrong. (pg. 1563)

Self denial of a manly kind is a fine basis of character and bespeaks future integrity. (pg. 1595)

Women are so cruel in their judgments, one of another, that they do not easily or quickly discriminate between friends and potential enemies. (pg. 1347 )

“It is revolting to us both, as you know, to see boys wearing girlish colored ties and silk socks to match, light blue and such silly colors. (pg. 1603 )

Teach your child to repeat just before breakfast......”I am master of myself. I have strong will power. I know what is right. I want to do right. I will do right.” (pg. 834 )

Happy Parenting!

Wings

I read a quote the other day that was talking about the prevalence in our culture of liking the idea of a thing better than the reality of it. Any ways, I woke up this morning at loose ends, wondering what I might post about today when I decided I’d do something about wings. Wings are one of those things that I like the “idea” of. They seem so ethereal and other worldly yet in reality they're somewhat clumsy and impractical; at least on our flightless geese and ducks. I think the original quote had a more serious point about preferring illusion to truth but in the interest of keeping things light here's my list of concepts (or things) that I like the idea of,
but aren’t quite as great as their cracked up to be:

travel
C-Span
the U.N.
being a Girl Scout leader
exercise
tofu

What about you, what can you think of that you like the idea of better than it’s reality???

Andy Goldsworthy

Earlier this week Ruth suggested the dvd Rant on her blog and Loring recommended the documentary CSNY: Deja Vu on his.
So I thought I would follow their lead
and tell you about one of my favorite documentary’s
Rivers and Tides: Andy Goldsworthy Working With Time.
It’s really an enjoyable and easy film to watch about British sculptor, environmentalist and photographer Andy Goldsworthy. I just love his work, especially his use of all natural materials often with the intent that time and the elements participate in a piece’s creation and/or destruction.

I’m going to try to post a short clip from the film below but please note that the music was added by the You tube member and isn’t part of the original film.

Today in the Mountains.........

We spent the day in the mountains today. It was really nice to just wander around the woods without any particular purpose. Nothing noteworthy happened but I thought you might like to see some pictures.

(Tie Hack reservoir and High Point Look Out Area.......click to enlarge)

(Goth along the trail to High Point Look Out, at Meadowlark Lake, and in Crazy Woman Canyon)

(Crazy Woman Canyon)

(on the way home)

The Wave

Growing up in a suburb of Detroit if a total stranger waved at me I would have quickly looked around for the nearest escape route. But in Wyoming, waving is nothing short of the local pastime. As strange as this may sound, it’s actually customary around here to wave at oncoming traffic while driving. Fortunately most people forgo it when they’re “in town” or we’d all look like a bunch of lunatics and traffic would come to a complete stand still. I’m sure it really isn’t that unusual a thing to do in most rural areas. Still it amuses me when Larry and I go for our evening walk and every passing car cheerfully acknowledges our presence like we were long lost friends. I don’t think twice about gesturing to people anymore until some baffled tourist suspiciously eyes me before cautiously waving back.

Any ways, I just thought you should know. So if you’re ever in the area and wondering why in the world all of these people are so happy to see you, it’s just what we do. We’re VERY friendly.

Skin........or In Response to Ruth

(a continuation of a comment discussion from my previous post: 6 Random Things)

Ruth you are so right that inner beauty and depth are rightfully the goal. Despite that I’m pretty comfortable with the whole preening thing. (Zoe is always questioning why I wear make up around the house. Hopefully in this regard she will rebel and do the exact opposite...... so far so good). Unfortunately, my cynical side doesn’t always give others the credit to have enough depth or patience to see beyond appearances, mostly because I am convinced that we humans are visual creatures by nature. And I find it understandable to prefer looking at the attractive although I think our generation (and generations to come) have burdened ourselves with lives lived in the shadow of a superficially photogenic & ever present media...... but that’s a whole other long and rambling post!

My Blogger picture is a perfect example of cynacism. Even the ugliest of us can usually come up with at least one attractive photo if we dig deep enough, which is what I did. I really need to change it as it is unrealistically flattering and a pathetic attempt to be appealing.......to present myself as someone who others might want to know. I suppose if nothing else changing it would be at least one step toward embracing my worth, appearances aside. All in all I feel like I’ve have become a pretty grounded, almost whole, person. But this discomfort with my looks (or self perceived lack of them) is just too shallow to accept. It represents buying into the worst of the stereotypical objectification of women that our culture promotes. It’s just not who I want to be. Does that make any sense? Any ways, there it is, way too much information!!! :)

Paonias Excaecatus

One of the great things about living here is that there really aren’t very many bugs. In fact, we don’t even have fleas. And as someone who’s bed is usually occupied by more animals than people I can’t overstate the importance of a flealess existence. The one type of insect that we are infested with is moths. Each July the millers descend upon us like some bad 1960’s horror film. They don’t usually stay long and other than the annoyance of having to rescue them out of the dog’s water bowl every morning they really aren’t bothering anyone.

Yesterday I found this little guy in the window sill. He's just a common Blinded Sphinx Moth but by hanging out with the millers he seemed special. We chatted a little, did a photo shoot, and then I escorted him outside so that he could get on with his life. I know it’s not much, but that’s my offering for today.......a moth; one beautifully common moth.

Have a Great Sunday Everyone!

6 Random Things......

After I posted about Loring yesterday he tagged me (in retaliation) with a meme to share 6 random things about myself that I haven't posted before. It's late and I can't think of anything as funny as his streaking confession but here they are:

1. I don’t kill bugs which got me into trouble while living in Kansas. Unbeknownst to me Kansas is home to the brown recluse which I only discovered after lovingly nurturing their reproduction inside our home for 4 years!

2. Parades make me sad. I don't know why.

3. I was on The Bozo Show when I was 4.

4. Right after college a friend of ours from Michigan took a driving honeymoon out west and Larry asked her to collect newspapers from all of the little towns along the way. We liked the Sheridan Press from Sheridan, Wyoming, packed all of our belongings into Larry’s pick up truck and headed out. 20 years later (minus a short stint in Kansas) we’re still here!

5. I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to transcend superficiality and appearances and be able to embrace myself as a woman, and as a human being, irregardless of age or attractiveness. Any and all advice is welcome!!!!

6. I can make a chocolate, chocolate chip cookie that will knock your socks off!

Thanks Loring, this was fun. In turn I tag (strictly voluntary!):

1. Anet at The Purple Squirrel for being just plain wonderful!
2. RunninL8 because I accidentally tagged her yesterday with an award she already had, so I'm trying her again.
3. My sister Sandie who doesn't have a blog but who can just write her list as a comment!
4. Noah because I really love his blog.
5. Mama P. to distract her from things like doing the laundry and feeding her babies.
6. Tara because I want to learn more about her quirky self!

Tag Rules:
Link to the person who tagged you.
Post the rules on the blog.
Write six random things about yourself.
Tag six people at the end of your post.
Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

Crazy Woman Canyon

Yesterday I was at Loring’s blog reading one of his posts and wondering how in the world he manages to analyze complex international affairs like he does and not go nuts doing it. Just glimpsing at the information inside of his brain is enough to drive me screaming and naked into the nearest cave. That thought lead me in some convoluted series of associations to the realization that I hadn’t posted anything about Crazy Woman Canyon yet.

Crazy Woman Canyon isn’t exactly a well known tourist destination, thankfully it’s more low key than that. After descending a long winding dirt road its walls engulf you and there’s a strangely charged (for me) intense spiritual energy, a presence (probably just adrenaline from some irrational fear of mountain lions, but you never know).

There are several stories about how the canyon and creek got their name with the general consensus being that it was named for a woman who took up residence there in the 1800’s after witnessing the killing and scalping of her husband. Out of her mind, she refused to leave and spent the rest of her life in hiding, being cared for at times by sympathetic Crow women.

After surviving an experience like that you can’t really blame Crazy Woman for not wanting to leave the sanctuary of such a deep and still place. But truth be told I’m awed by the Lorings of this world who possess the intellect, strength, and bravery to take on humanity’s failings. Metaphorically I’m pretty much a cave dweller, overwhelmed by the injustices we inflict upon each other. What about you; cave or conquer............fight or flight?
How do you cope???

Stones...........

The Bighorns where we live are an outlying range of the Rockies. So it’s no big surprise that one thing we have in abundance around here are rocks; lots and lots of rocks. In fact our area, like Earth, is essentially an amazingly beautiful life giving rock.

Jung writes in Man & His Symbols that stones are symbolic of the Self:
“Many people cannot refrain from picking up stones........ keeping them, without knowing why they do this. It is as if the stones held a living mystery that fascinates them.”

"Men have collected stones since the beginning of time and have apparently assumed that certain ones were containers of the life force with all its mystery.”

“We know that even unhewn stones had a highly symbolic meaning for ancient and primitive societies. Rough natural stones were often believed to be the dwelling places of spirits or gods.”

“....some Australian Aboriginies believe that their dead ancestors continue to exist in stones as virtuous and divine powers, and that if they rub these stones, the power increases for the benefit of both the living and the dead.”

To me there’s something romantic about the idea of caressing a stone to benefit both the living and dead.

This one has been sitting on my window sill for years.

And this one seems special because of the naturally occurring hole through its center. I find it comforting that it will still be here in one form or another long after I’m gone.

Little Cockroach Angels

(one of Goth's cockroaches molting)

I had hoped to sketch today but I don’t think I’m going to get to it. Goth is having a sleep over Friday night and one of her friends is allergic to animal hair/dander. Since we live with 6 cats and 2 dogs we are never in short supply of either (I’ll leave the general state of our floors to your imagination because whatever you come up with won’t be even close to the actual horror of it ). I generally clean only enough to keep things presentable. That being said I do take it as a personal failing if our air quality actually sickens children, so I figured I had better at least try and make Christina’s night here enjoyable. The long story short is that because I’ve been cleaning all day I don’t have anything to post. There was one event of the day worth noting however and it is that the last of Goth’s pet cockroaches has died of old age, and we are now cockroach free for the first time in over 4 years!!!! Yea for us!

This Morning's Breakfast Conversation......

(photo of the morning sky taken by Larry on his morning walk.)

Are you one of those people who bounces out of bed first thing in the morning clear headed, alert, & ready to embrace the day? Well, I’m not. I need a shower and a few minutes of quiet before my neurons agree to start synapsing again. Larry on the other hand is an early riser and has surfed the net, scooped the litter pans, and fed and walked the dogs all before 7:30 am. So whenever I manage to trudge my sorry butt down to breakfast he greets me with intense and enthusiastic conversation. This morning through a haze of semi-conscious cereal pouring I was briefed on the latest details from the G8 summit and how our world leaders idea of addressing the pressing issue of climate change is to commit to partial emission reductions 42 years from now. That’s when Larry declared that he was going to get a job. Not quite awake enough to be following his train of thought I asked him why........
”So I can get paid for being an idiot too”
“Oh, right........”

Kudos George!

Dear Mr. President,
When historians define your legacy I sincerely hope that they read this post because you have accomplished the impossible! I live in one of the most unwaveringly partisan Republican states in our great nation and to my utter amazement I have yet to see a single John McCain sign or bumper sticker in the entire county...not one! In the conservative little mountain community that I live in Obama signs are popping up thicker than thistle. It’s incredible, unheard of really, and I want to thank you. I know I haven’t always been one to shower you with praise but for this little magic trick you have my gratitude. Way to go George!

My B.F.A. aka Grooming to Become a Walmart Associate....

I think this post is going to be somewhat rambling but let me assure you that I have a point, something I want to impart to you besides rehashing the last 24 years of my life. So here goes:

One thing I’ve learned for certain is that 17 year olds are in no way qualified to be making life directing choices. That being said, the only thing probably worse than their making them would be to allow their parents to make them for them. So I guess all you can do when you’re 17 is to throw your hat into the ring and hope for the best, that’s what I did.

When I was 17 I walked into class on the first day of my senior year, took one look around the high school and knew deep within myself that there was no way in hell I could waste another year of my life inside of those four walls. So I walked out. Within the week I was enrolled in college and thus began my very expensive, very useless 4 year matriculation as an undergraduate art student. I don’t regret leaving high school, and strangely enough I don’t even regret pursuing an art degree. What I do regret is that I didn’t have the foresight to double major in some more practical field as well; you know, one of those degrees that at the end of shelling out all of that time and money you’re actually employable. But I didn’t. I did work for a short time at various low paying social service positions and then we moved to Wyoming and I happily gave up working. For the next 8 years I worked full time in my studio and managed to do pretty well in terms of exhibitions and in quality of life. When Goth came along I tossed aside my glue sticks and focused on raising and home schooling her. But for the last few years I’ve been drifting. Goth certainly doesn’t need my undivided attention any more, and yet for a variety of reasons I have failed to throw myself back into the art. In part because I’m not the same person I was 12 years ago, and in part because my ego feels I should be contributing something more “worthwhile” to the world, and also because I know that the earth has enough “stuff” in it, and I hate to contribute to that any more than is necessary. Also, for my 4 years of “education” the one thing I was taught above all else was aesthetic snobbery. It simply was not acceptable to paint for the joy of it or for the masses, but strictly for intellect, angst, metaphor, and elitism........ for what our unique artistic selves had to bestow upon the world (barf, barf, barf). You wouldn’t believe some of the obnoxious artist’s statements I have written in my life! Any ways, I am so over that. And in short, I’m conflicted. I feel like I should be working, and yet am too paralyzed to pick up a pencil. When I go to all of your blogs I’m just inspired by your drive and creativity. So what this brings me to is that a while back Sandy and her friends were doing an art, A to Z, meme. I have no idea what the rules were but I’m going to do my own version of it. Lots of days I can’t think of anything to post here so for the next little while when I find myself empty I’m going to just post a quick sketch; not great art, no content, just a simple non-digital drawing, something to force me to get my feet wet, reorient myself, and try to figure out where I’m going. By the letter Z I should know if I want to start working again. I sure hope so, because other than art, the only thing I’m qualified to do is work at Walmart!

The Pathless Woods

There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not man the less, but Nature more.

~Lord Byron

We tried to walk up the canyon the other day and weren't able to because the creek was raging from the melting snow pack. I really need to learn how to use the video feature on my camera so the imagery kind of sucks but the sound is okay so I've added this clip any ways.
The picture above is of an irrigation ditch near the trail.
((click the arrow to watch))

1 in 6,602,224,175

I didn't really have anything to say today so I thought I'd post some of Goth's baby pictures. While she, like all of us, is just 1 person among the 6,602,224,175 people on our planet, she (like all of us) is pretty special. It's kind of mind boggling that there are over
6 billion unique souls walking around this earth.
And that's just the people!

And while we all share the same genetic make up, each of us brings some little spark, some combination of being completely our own to this existence.

I'm not sure what I bring, it's so hard to see ourselves.........maybe empathy.......... you know the neurotic, paralyzing, for pete's sake get over it kind of empathy. :)

What's your thing, what do you bring?
Tell us all some tiny thing about yourself..............

Bad Nation.......No Birthday for You!!!!

A while ago Anet posted a meme titled I Am From. I really liked reading about her and intended to post her meme myself. Unfortunately I found it difficult to own. I found the “where I’m from” part of me and the “who I am today” part of me incompatibly partitioned. But yesterday Ruth’s letter to her senator inspired me to tackle the meme not from the viewpoint of my personal life, but from the perspective of my life as an American. Here it is:

I am from the Motor City, baseball, and apple pie .
I am from a two story house in a lower middle class Michigan suburb. I am from descendants of the victory garden, the bald eagle, and the myth of Washington’s cherry tree; a president who could not tell a lie. I am from 4th of July fireworks, a hardworking dad, from Joe Jr. and Patricia J., and Benjamin Franklin...........if, you go far enough backwards! I am from the simple and patriotic. From freedom of speech and democracy, from the greatest nation on earth, innocence until proven guilty, and liberty and justice for all. I am from separation of church and state and one nation under God. I am from Ellis Island, people of many nations seeking freedom to worship, freedom from tyranny, freedom from torture. I am from a government of the people, by the people, for the people.
What happened?

You can find the original meme here.

Bird Banding

It’s a little after 7am and Goth and The Muse are on their way to town for Goth’s bird banding class sponsored by our local Y. It’s being taught by Dr. Oakleigh Thorne, II founder and honorary president of Boulder’s Thorne Ecological Institute.

Bird ringing (also known as bird banding) is an tool for studying wild birds, their migration, longevity, mortality and populations. According to Wikipedia one bird, a Manx Shearwater ringed as an adult, breeding on Copeland Island, Northern Ireland, is currently (2003/2004) the oldest known wild bird in the world: ringed in July 1953, it was retrapped in July 2003, at least 55 years old.

Goth’s really loving this class and we are super lucky that Dr. Thorne’s daughter lives in our area and arranged for him to come here for the week. On the verge of sleep last night Goth told me that she is more excited about life than she has been in a long time..........

Thank you Dr. Thorne!

Slip Casting a Ceramic Cylinder ~Part 2

Once bisque fired the cylinder can be glazed, painted, smoked, or some combination of all three depending upon what kind of color or surface texture you are trying to create. Larry never does anything fastidiously; his approach/taste is more grungy & primal.

Here he smokes a cylinder which has already been glazed with a clear crackle finish. He’s masked some areas of the surface with bits of colored duct tape, placed it a chicken wire basket (to insure space for the smoke to circulate between the cylinder and flammables), and put it inside of a metal garbage can packed with pine needles, wood chips, and newspaper.

This next step is VERY important.......at this point he stops everything to put his assistants in their pen because they like to help.......... a lot.

With the girls safely out of the way he used a propane torch to light the materials through several small holes punctured near the base of the can, put a lid on it, and let it smolder for a couple of hours.

Smoking is inherently unpredictable but the hope is that when he takes it out of the garbage can he’ll like what he sees and it’ll be done.

In this case the original intent was to remove the masking but he chose to leave them as part of the finished surface instead.

That’s it..............the only thing left to do is let the geese out!