Devil's Toenails

On the other side of the mountains from us you’ll find Wyoming’s Red Gulch Dinosaur Track Site. Unless you have a serious interest in paleontology it’s probably not worth the effort getting there. The long and tedious drive through a moon like landscape into the middle of nowhere seems endless; making the idea of the site wildly more romantic than it is in reality. But to think that 167 million years ago, while the west was still buried beneath a shallow sea, a herd of dinosaur crowded through here and left a fossilized bed so dense with tracks that it’s now called The Ballroom....... is amazing! It’s as if the dinosaurs (or some monster sized chickens) danced by moonlight, leaving at least a thousand prehistoric foot prints trailing beneath the stars. How cool would it have been to have witnessed something like that? Also, the area is littered with Devil’s Toenails (common jurassic oyster/bivalve gryphaea arcuata fossils) and visitors are welcomed by interpretive signs to collect them as souvenirs

I wonder if the one I’m holding in my hand right now was brushed aside during that primordial dance......... a small thread connecting them to me......... I wonder whose grasp it will have fallen into 160 million years from now............. What an incomprehensibly wondrous world this is!

Wyoming Writer Dainis Hazners

This is an excerpt from Dainis Hazners’ incredible book (some of) The Adventures of Carlyle, My Imaginary Friend. 2004, University of Iowa Press.



Carlyle’s in the atttic.
He’s closed the door
and nailed it shut.
Evenso, he sings
O-O-O
holding his face.

He’s chinked
all the cracks -
not even a wish
could find its way

out. In the corner
standing in shadow
is somebody known
and not. Luckily,

Carlyle is with the lunatic
(first they become
smoke, then mingle)

who believes
in continuous love
for all things.

We Suck at Volunteering!

You would think that anyone with 2 large dogs, 6 cats, 2 rats, 2 geese, a couple of ducks, parakeets, fish, and a barn full of pigeons would have their fill of animals. But no, Goth decided to become trained as a volunteer at our local animal shelter. I agreed on the conditions that I accompany her (for her safety), and that she understand in no uncertain terms that she is there to work, and would NOT be bringing anything home! Of course her first day brought us face to face with Theo a black chow chow. Pretending to be an adult, I held my ground despite his dejected demeanor, exotic blue tongue, and the cute way he quivered with fear at the site of a poodle poster. He was often in my thoughts and unfortunately was still at the shelter the next time we went back, and the next. He was there for quite a while. I never asked what happened to him (I didn’t want to know) and Goth continued volunteering. Then one day, just as we were about to leave, a staff member asked us to work on socializing a feral kitten. Strangely enough we’d never even noticed her before. It was as if by sheer will she had become one with the corner and was using every ounce of energy she could muster to continue that illusion. Ignoring her terror, I picked her up and made the mistake of asking questions...... it turned out she was 11 months old and had been cowering in that corner for 10 months..... Ten Months!!!! What was I supposed to do with that???? Later at home I told the Muse about her, acknowledging that the last thing in the world we needed was another cat......... but we have a couple of secluded acres of woods......... and a barn ........... and SHE really needed US..........we’ll feed her, watch over her, and you won’t even know she’s here..........I promise. You’ll never even see her! Prince that he is, there wasn’t even a discussion. First thing the next morning we headed to town and filled out the adoption papers. The plan was to put her in my studio for a week or so (until she was comfortable and knew where she lived) and then we’d take her out to the barn and let her be wild. That was a year ago and she hasn’t seen the barn yet......she doesn’t even know it exists. She does however, sleep with us.

Free to a Good Home ~ Taken!

or a bad one, it really doesn’t matter. Consider it an over sized ACEO! If you know of a blank wall somewhere than send me a shipping address at onesmallsquare@gmail.com and I’ll drop this in the mail to you (U.S. & Canada only, please~first come first serve~I retain the right to use it’s photographic image digitally) Untitled, original, 11” x 14”, mixed media and acrylics on stretched canvas, 2008.

If you find something appealing in a piece that I put up and would like to have it, then let me know and it’s yours........no questions. If you don’t connect with it, that’s okay too, just ignore it. Art is very subjective.

Symbols

I have these rosaries hanging in my studio window (even though I’m not Catholic, or Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, or any other religion). They aren’t symbols of faith for me, I just like them. It amazes me how psychologically infused with cultural baggage a symbol can become. It’s hard to believe that an image, or idea, can be so emotionally charged that individuals fight and kill over it, are comforted by it, and deny love because of it. To me the crucifix represent surrender and vulnerability. What do crosses mean to you????.........comfort, religion, pain, anger, shame, joy, apathy, rapture........??? Remember, it’s all good.

My Guru

Stand Back.........Way Back.

I live about 140 miles away from the largest active volcano in the world........Yellowstone National Park. No the volcano isn’t in Yellowstone, it is Yellowstone and it’s a supervolcano. According to Bill Bryson in his book A Short History of Nearly Everything, under the western United States there is huge cauldron of magma. “Imagine a pile of TNT the size of Rhode Island and reaching to the clouds, that is what lies beneath Yellowstone.” “Only two things are certain: that the crust of Yellowstone is thin and the world beneath it is hot.” A colossal volcanic hot spot, Yellowstone erupts cataclysmically every 600,000 years or so, the last eruption was............. 630,000 years ago.
Okay, so who wants to visit???? :)

Earth Day

When Goth was 6 or 7 she wrote and illustrated a picture book called The Encyclopedia of Creatures, Beasts, Monsters, and Who Knows What Else? I’m pretty sure that the Merseal (who eats nuclear bombs and netting) is a big fan of Earth Day so in celebration of conservation everywhere I’ve released Goth’s art from it’s dusty fate at the bottom of my desk drawer. I’m saving her book for when she's old enough not to be mortified anymore. It’s so cute. You should see the Bobo and The Toilet Spirit!!!

Lost in Translation

This is Kitara. She’s in charge of all of our residential security in addition to duck intimidation, dog obedience, cat chasing, and the biting of deer. I’m pretty sure that the only reason I haven’t actually seen a mountain lion is because of her diligent patrolling. Any ways, she and I were hanging out by the pond and having a little chat when I took this shot. I’m not entirely sure what we were talking about, but whatever it was it seemed very important..............

Pretending to be a Barn

PRETENDING TO BE A BARN

Here I sit, alone in a field
pretending to be a barn. I hold
myself so still the cows could walk
right through me. Silence plants
my feet in deep, my heart deeper
then weathered wood. My eyes
like old glass windows, dusted
with lost days, are ready to hold
the new light.

If a duck walked in,
he wouldn't find me here.
Or chickens circling and
picking the ground. Even the wind
can't see me. My doors flap
and let anything in.

~Margo Lagattuta, Michigan writer and lecturer

Beware of the Dog

This is Emily. She’s half collie and half blue heeler. I remember once on a hike up the canyon when she was still tiny someone asked us her breed, then rolled her eyes and said “She’s going to be too smart for her own good”. Well, those words haunt me almost daily. While she isn’t quite smart enough to avoid many of the pitfalls of canine existence (ie. butt sniffing) she is still pretty bright. I always know I’m overlooking something when she plants herself in my path and refuses to move. Usually this means it’s time for her medicine, or for her dinner, but lately she’s even taken to insisting I feed the cats at precisely the appointed time. Her internal clock is phenomenal. While she may not know what 4:30 means she knows precisely when it is 4:30 (aka her dinner time). When both Emily and Goth were little Emily thought it was great fun to run around the house with Goth’s shoes in her mouth. So I taught Goth that when she took her shoes off she should put them on the back of the couch out of the dog’s reach. Then one day, while I was sitting on the couch, I told Goth to hand me the shoes she’d left on the floor. She handed me one, got distracted, and before I could say anything Emily went over, retrieved the other shoe, jumped up, and put it on the back of the couch. That was when I knew that my position as alpha female was in serious jeopardy.

Artful Blogging Magazine

I’m really new to blogging and am just getting a feel for it so bear with me. I’m one of those people who learns best by experimenting, taking progress as it comes. Any ways, I came upon this great magazine online a couple of weeks ago and ordered a copy of it. It’s called Artful Blogging; Visually Inspiring Online Journals and it’s just gorgeous! I haven’t had time to explore all of the blogs that they’ve showcased yet but I’m already inspired by what I have looked at. Creating a personal, yet public work, with all of the visual, auditory, and literary elements that the digital age enables is so exciting. I am seriously behind the curve here, but what an exciting new art form, and what a cool magazine!

Shedding

Each year around Christmas the bucks drop their antlers exposing bloody craters on their scalps. They seem to heal pretty quickly and I can’t help but think that it must be a relief not to have to keep disentangling your head from every low branch in the forest. Because of the snow the antlers aren’t usually visible until the spring thaw when they start magically popping up out of nowhere. Sometimes I wonder if I’m not doing the same thing; leaving little bits of myself and of my psyche behind. That if I turned over a stone or scattered some leaves, I might find remnants of idealism or humiliation............ that the forest floor might be scattered with the remains of my childhood illusions and that the birds might weave strands of my hair into their nests. I hope so. It would be nice to think of nestling some eggs....... becoming......... recycling myself.

Mittens, Shorts, and a Snowman.......

You would think that 2 1/2 grown people would have better things to do than build snowmen in the middle of the afternoon. But after almost 6 months of winter, yesterday’s 70 degree weather was just too precious to waste actually doing anything. The Muse did try (unsuccessfully) to locate the porch steps but it’s going to be another week or two before they reappear (at least now they look a little bit less like a ski run). Any ways, the pond completely melted so we pulled out the lawn chairs and watched the geese frolic in the icy water. It was great!!!!

Michigan Artist Bud Gale

This is a self portrait by a friend of ours from Michigan. Bud has a stunning ability to capture a person’s soul with paint. When Goth was little we had to relegate this painting to obscure corners of the house because it frightened her but now that she’s older we’re able to hang it in the livingroom again. I’m so glad because I love having him as a part of our daily lives.

Conduct Unbecoming an Officer

Earlier this week the Muse observed that my blog was a little heavy on animal pictures. I suggested he help me out by shedding his clothes for a photo shoot but he declined on the grounds that that would be conduct unbecoming an officer (or possibly just unbecoming). So, while I’d love to change things up a bit there is very little going on here that doesn’t involve mammals in one form or another. Besides, how often to you get to see a picture of a deer sticking her tongue out???

Rumi

Today, like every other day, we wake up empty
and frightened. Don't open the door to the study
and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.

~Rumi

Nothing is Ever Simple.......

Goth: John McCain’s on T.V.

Me: Yeah? How’s he doing?

Goth: Okay, I guess. Don’t you hate him?

Me: No?! I hate George Bush........ not all republicans.

Sometimes I forget what an all encompassing black hole hate can become in the mind of a 12 year old. In fairness to Goth most of her life has been spent listening to daily Bush bashing and disdain filled declarations of contempt for the political and foreign policy state of our country. So this post is for Goth. I’d like to clarify a few things: I do dislike President Bush for the many many reasons which you’ve heard a million times. I don’t dislike a person solely because he or she is a republican. There are “republican positions” which I dislike and they are: opposition to gun control, promoting a dog eat dog economy without safety nets for society’s vulnerable populations (extending to basic needs like health care), legislating abortion issues, approaching immigration issues simplistically, sacrificing the environment and worker safety to corporate profit without accountability, and forgetting about the separation of church and state; thus radicalizing our country and their party. So, no, I don’t hate John McCain. I may respectfully disagree with many of his positions but I defend his right to hold them and work toward them. He has shown himself to be a person of character and until he thoughtlessly leads this country toward a path of violence, isolationism, and intolerance I will not hate him. Republicans and Democrats are intrinsically flawed categorizations which encourage simplistic thinking and without campaign finance reform it is unlikely that the electoral process in our country will make substantial changes. So Goth, don’t fall for the hate game. It’s too easy. Hold it back if you can, but when a person aspires to lead an important and powerful nation without the character, intellectual capacity, or psychological health to execute his duties lawfully and in good faith, than go to it. And never forfeit your right to freedom of speech in the face of such shamelessness or in the name of empty patriotism. Remember, nothing is ever simple.

Me: I want you to read this.

Goth (after reading it): I really don’t care.

She’s so funny...............

Yesterday's Funeral

Our cabin has an amazing second story glass studio nestled high in the trees. I love the space (it reminds me of one of my favorite picture books as a child, about runaways living in a tree house.....I can’t remember the title). Any ways, every spring the woods are frenzied with birds returning from migration and it’s this time of year when the studio windows become deadly. Yesterday brought our first casualty when this little junco tried to defy the laws of physics by flying through glass. Goth lined a tiny box for him and the Muse managed to find a patch of thawed ground. Now I’m off to make construction paper bird silhouettes for the windows...............

What Do You Like?

My first introduction to blogging came from searching for secular home schooling resources. I found a great site with lots of links and lesson plans written by a woman in Oregon. Ultimately what kept me coming back was her dry, smart, wit and candor. I don’t know exactly how long I’ve been reading her posts but it’s been off and on for a couple of years. During this time I’ve formed some idea of who she is, how her politics lean, and what irks her; but that doesn’t make for a very complete picture of a person. So a couple of days ago, after reading one of her posts (and totally ignoring it’s topic), I asked her to list a couple of things that she actually “likes” and she did. I wasn’t really that surprised by her answers (except maybe the sushi...YUCK!) My point here is that it’s much easier to define ourselves by what we don’t like (in other people, and in life in general) than to define what we actually do like; not just what we’re supposed to like (http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com ~a riotously funny site) , or what we want others to think we like. But what, deep within ourselves, give us pleasure (even if we hate to admit it). I mean, if you asked me to come up with a list of things I hate I could start rattling them off with no problem (shopping, George Bush, crowds, the telephone.........) but ask me what I like, and it’s much more difficult. Any ways, since I had the audacity to ask a complete stranger to cough up some honesty I thought I’d better give it a go myself. So here goes.........
Goth & the Muse (of course), animals, chocolate, the woods, wilderness, my mac, snuggling, pizza, solitude, a good book, watching t.v. in bed, kindness, nature, silence, Survivor, naps, freedom, baking, psychology, blogging, gardening, walks/hikes, peace, being lazy, physics, houses, Pandora.com, some art, our cabin, some music, NPR, Photoshop, (a handful of people who I won’t name), unschooling, & tolerance. It’s hard to present yourself so simplistically but there it is; a list of some of the things that I like. So what about you? What do you like???????

Andre Malraux's Food for Thought

The greatest mystery is not that we have been flung at random between the profusion of matter and of the stars, but that within this prison we can draw from ourselves images powerful enough to deny our nothingness.

~Andre Malraux

Our (Shrinking) Ice Shelf

Tired of waiting for nature to take it's course, the Muse took matters into his own hands yesterday and managed to chip away enough ice from the pond to make the geese very happy.

Life Unfolding

This is my sister Sandie. I imagine about 40 years ago the gods were looking down upon her as she willingly let our older sister stuff her nostrils full of juniper berries and they must have wondered how in the world she was ever going to survive. Although I haven’t tried it, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t let anyone stick things up her nose anymore, and she’s done really well. She finished graduate school, runs her own business while raising 4 healthy kids, manages a household, a marriage, and life in general. Not too bad for someone who spent the first 16 years of life struggling to get out of bed before noon. I guess there’s hope for all of us.

Thank You!!!!!

I am really blown away by the birthday present Goth made for me. I just love how we're snuggling together so contentedly and how much better looking I am as a panda! Plus, she called me "Mom"(something she hasn't done since she was little).
Thank You Goth!!!!
I LOVE IT!!!!!!

The Birds.......

The Muse opened the outside aviary today releasing the pigeons and they're dancing about the yard in celebration. I like hearing their scratchy steps across the skylights and the cats love watching them fly from window to window. For a couple of the babies this is their first ever flight in the trees. They’re so funny. It’s amazing what bad fliers they are at first. I guess it’s like with any new skill, it just takes time for those neural pathways to form before it becomes second nature. Lets hope our little owl friend has found other prey now that winter is almost over.

Happy Birthday Me.

Tomorrow's my birthday (42!!!!UGH)

so we're headed to the "big city" for a day of shopping and
restaurants. Because we have to leave the state to find the nearest Target, Border's, Pier One, and Dunkin Donuts, it isn't something we do very often. But now that Goth is getting older she likes to escape the woods now and again. The whole hermetic/back to nature lifestyle thing seems to have back fired. Despite some unabashed lobbying on my part (or because of it) she's developed quite a fondness for malls. Maybe it's a phase.
I can hope....... after all it is my birthday!

Yesterday's Hike

Yesterday the Muse and I took Mattie for a hike up the canyon. It was just what we needed. Going there always rejuvenates me and reminds me why I'm living here (butt deep in snow). It was unimaginably still and the sun made the snow glisten so much that it seemed enchanted. For me it's an almost spiritual experience, like what I imagine other people find in church or synagogue.

Forgiveness

This is Megan. Last Wednesday I plucked her from a sound sleep and stuffed her into a soft sided carrier, which pissed her off........a lot! She howled and cried and rolled around like we were on our way to Guantanamo. After carrying her squirming butt out to the car I decided that maybe she’d be happier in a large plastic kennel, so I transferred her apologetically which made her scream even more indignantly. In fact she howled all of the way to town (30 minutes) nonstop! Once there, I hauled her miserable little self into a strange building where some woman had the audacity to weigh her and tell her she was fat. And if that wasn’t bad enough the woman followed this up by sticking needles into Megan's neck. One minute she’s the queen of a very nice spread with a bed, a sunny spot, dogs, and her own private woods. And the next minute she’s being pawed like some kind of lowly shelter stray (a position in life that she gave up at the tender age of 8 weeks old and prefers not to talk about it). After paying for this raucous good time I stuck her back into the carrier where she screamed bloody murder for another 30 minutes. But once we were home she immediately located my lap and let me know how much she loves me. The girl simply doesn’t know how to hold a grudge. I wish I was so good..........

Tiddley Pom

The more it snows
(Tiddley pom)
The more it goes
(Tiddley pom)
The more it goes
(Tiddley pom)
On snowing.

~The Tao of Pooh by Hoff