Is There Anything You Want to Tell Me???

I called my Mom in Michigan yesterday and she was busy at some funeral home planning her final moments above ground to the last detail. She’s been smoking since childhood so I imagine her health to be quite poor. She isn’t one to discuss such things so I let it go after a cursory “is there anything you want to tell me?”. We then absently continued chatting as if planning your own funeral were a perfectly natural way to spend an afternoon.

Personally, I’d like to fade back into the scenery with as little fanfare as possible when my time comes. I’m not someone who has a need to leave a legacy or footprint behind. Somewhere along the line I’ve come to understand and embrace myself as a very small part of a very wonderful/terrible/amazing existence. I haven’t always felt that way. It’s so easy to imagine being more omnipotent and responsible than we really are. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not making excuses in order to justify apathy or some kind of irresponsible “anything goes” lifestyle, really I’m not. But as much as I’d love to have the capacity to influence humanity, I know that my contributions (or lack of them) will be just that, contributions.........a small part of this vast oneness. In contrast, Larry is unwaveringly optimistic of the importance of what he brings to the table. How in the world he managed 20 years in the army without having that beaten out of him is a miracle..........or pathological, I don’t know. Whichever it is, it’s kind of endearing.

Disclaimer: The artist formerly known as The Colonel has proofed and approved this message! :)