Now, I don’t believe in an interventionist God who needs us to justify our existence through a series of ego deflating, existential hurdles, but I am always amused when just as I’m feeling secure in my self image fate reminds me that, like Woody Allen, my psyche is just one big comedic soup of tiresome self doubt. That was the case in the 90’s when I went from being an animal loving pacifist vegetarian who avoided leather to some kind of crazed serial killer.
We had been living near Lawrence, Kansas for a couple of years and were really loving the whole vibrant, artsy, inclusive, academic, culturally rich, atmosphere. We had a tiny victorian on a nice corner lot, gardens, beautiful trees, and a meandering stream. It was a nauseatingly normal suburban existence. After we’d been there for 4 years I was sitting on the back deck reading a gruesome article in the paper about how one of the students at the University of Kansas had almost died from a brown recluse bite. Poisonous spiders in Kansas???......I had no idea!
Larry and I had always made a conscious effort to live life as harmoniously as possible. Most bugs who entered our house would be captured and moved outside if they were annoying, but the spiders I left alone. I had never understood what the big deal was. They certainly weren’t bothering anyone. Eventually that newspaper article sunk in. I had been living in a recluse infested region for 4 years without ever killing a single spider......in essence I was breeding them without check and they were everywhere! My skin crawled, my mind raced, and instantly I went from being a naturalist wannabe to some kind of insane Orkin apprentice when one day I walked into the living room and Larry was tuned to a Discovery Channel special on brown recluse spiders. One hour of watching teary eyed mothers explain how their allergic children needlessly died sudden and horrible deaths juxtaposed against images of black infected lesions endlessly eroding into permanent fleshy scars was all it took. I lost it. Not in a hysterical get me the hell out of this house sort of way, but in a calm lets move back to Wyoming sort of way.
Just before we moved Zoe was actually bitten. Luckily she wasn’t allergic and the nasty welt on her back went away after a couple of months. My self image on the other hand has permanently changed. I’m now an animal loving sometimes pacifist spider killer with a new pair of leather shoes and I’m okay with that! :)
To see some really nasty bite shots click here and scroll down.
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