On the drive to Fetterman
this morning while my mind flitted about undisciplined as always, it
occurred to me that every particle of my being could be accounted for
genetically.
I'm not a “religious”
person. Quite the opposite really; I loathe organizations who
manipulate their beliefs as truths, or worse yet, for monetary or
political gain. That being said I have always believed in God (a
higher power, universal consciousness, or whatever you want to label
the larger unknowable reality that we are all a part of). Feeling for
even a moment that I was nothing more than the sum of biology was
really quite devastating. I mean, where are my soul bits? Dear God,
why can't I find any identifiable particle of myself independent of
ancestry, conditioning, or hormones?! As we drove through
the rolling green hills I wondered how, if all that I am is
corporeal, can I be a part of God (a belief which has comforted
me my entire life)? Passing cows (oh distant mammalian relations) I considered that maybe we are merely vessels through which
God/Consciousness experiences itself? That would certainly account
for a lot of self loathing. Having mistaken ourselves for a part of the
divine would definitely confuse any ego into being forever discontent
with the reality of itself. Maybe we aren't even vessels. I
don't know, but if we are, I wonder if God is happier with himself
embodied in me, or a cow? I'm guessing the cow. Anyways, I'm sure
it's more complicated than that but it doesn't really matter since this is probably just my pms talking! :)
