Monday, November 14, 2011

memories that don't make me cringe are hard to come by



when i was little

i would sit alone in the sun

spinning

the pedals of my upturned bicycle.

in my imagination i was making ice cream,

which makes no sense to me now.

it was an escape from the hours spent in tow,

under the harsh fluorescence

of a culture bustling against itself.

~

in other realities

girls my age walked quietly beside goats.

i have no idea what they were imagining.

in fact, at the time they didn't even exist; to me.

but while i struggled with modernity,

they were cut, sewn up, and cut again.

fucked; quite literally.

~

i'm grown now with a little girl of my own.

she lives life wide open

with unending fascination for all things,

good and bad.

i censor her.

not for her sake, just what she shares with me.

~

there is so much I don't want to know

because it never leaves.

sometimes when i shut my eyes everything is quiet

and I can forget; myself, those little girls, and so much else.

reopened, i shudder, and swear to myself.

fuck.

~


links: here and here.