Friday, July 8, 2011

Dating Advice to Young Men...


who are smitten with my daughter:
First of all it is probably okay to arrange a first date within just a couple of hours of meeting her but if you say it is for 1 o'clock the next day (all of maybe 13 hours away) you should probably just wait until then rather than reschedule the very next morning to an earlier time because you can't wait that long. That seems a little overly eager, but its not a big deal. But then to try to schedule another date, this time a full day trip to the mountains, for less than 48 hours later, it would be best to accept her right to say no. And while it was probably okay to promptly suggest a different time and outing, once that date is made it would be best to respect that that commitment is when you will see her next. And since that is only 72 hours after your first date you probably shouldn't text her telling her how badly you want a girlfriend. Again, I realize my message here is a little redundant but the overly eager thing is kicking in again and to present yourself as so very needy when first meeting a person is probably not going to come off as endearing. Then, to decide 24 hours before that upcoming date to try and schedule an additional, sooner date is way too much. Especially when said girl is only 15 and has already quite clearly explained to you that she wasn't looking for a "serious" or intense relationship at this stage of her life. To top that off, if you are 18 years old you should have the maturity to put her younger age into perspective and not try to railroad her too quickly. Quite honestly it reminds me of my dog peeing all over a bush he has decided is his.

Oh, and one more thing: It's really inappropriate for adult men (even 18 year olds) to send those kinds of links to 15 year old girls who have already told them to slow the fuck down (especially when you have only just met). Having to tell you to take a hike was VERY hard for her. It would have been nice if you could have gotten a grip on yourself a little bit and allowed a friendship to build between you. I hope that helps and that in the future you will shoot for moderation and lose the whole intensely needy routine.
Best of luck, and don't call us, we'll call you!