When we were kids we had a picture book about a frantic mother who called the doctor to report that her son wasn’t feeling well and had suddenly become frighteningly obese. I couldn’t remember the name of it but luckily my sister Sandie did. Mother, Mother, I Feel Sick Send For The Doctor Quick Quick Quick is really kind of a silly little book but I remember liking it as a kid when the doctor performed surgery and found that the boy had eaten everything he could lay his hands on. My favorite part was when a bike was pulled out from his abdomen in pristine and ready to ride condition. By the end of the book the boy was thin again, but mysteriously the doctor was missing his hat.
Nigel seems to be a case of life imitating art. We adopted him from the shelter when he was about 8 weeks old. You would think that in that short amount of time not too much could have happened to traumatize him but you’d be wrong. There must have been a day in there when he didn’t get to eat because he has since spent the last 5 years obsessing (and I mean OBSESSING!) about his next meal......which, if you can’t tell by looking at him is immediately following his last meal. In fact, they should have issued us stock in Purina when we took him home. If they had, we’d at least be able to recoup some of our loses. Needless to say Nigel’s a big boy. And yes, we could remove all food from the premises in order to control his insatiable neurosis but food makes him sooooo happy. You should hear him eating, he snorts and purrs, and grunts until he’s so worn out he falls asleep only to wake up and eat again. He’s quite a guy. I have a feeling his visions of grandeur involve something along the line of becoming a snow leopard and I wouldn’t be at all surprised to come home one day and find he’d eaten the dogs. In fact, it might be a good idea to start shutting the bedroom door at night.............
No comments:
Post a Comment